Welcome to Maine — 2015 version

By Mike Lange

Staff Writer

 I wrote my annual “Welcome to Maine” piece last year after we got back from vacation in California.

 We had a good reason to leave town. It was our grandson’s high school graduation and one of the rare times I could convince my wife to travel farther than Augusta.

 Frankly, after spending a week in a relatively big city, I felt like kissing the tarmac at Portland International Airport when we got back.

 This year, we’re staying close to home. So this is a “real” welcome from someone who’s lived here for the past 40-something years.

 If this is your first visit, please don’t think all our towns are like Cabot Cove and that we eat lobster three days a week. Most of inland Maine is pretty tame, even during the busy summer season.

 Pedestrians always have the right-of-way in Maine. We’re supposed to use crosswalks, but lines haven’t been painted in some towns since Jimmy Carter was president. Best rule: When you see someone trying to cross the street, let them.

 You don’t hear “ayuh” very often in Piscataquis County, but if someone wrecked their pickup last week, it would probably be described as “stove up.”

 And if you hear a mom tell her kid in the middle of Shop ‘n Save that’s “getting pretty ugly,” it has nothing to do with the child’s looks — it’s her attitude.

 If you’re picking up a copy of this paper at a store on Route 7 or 15, you might be heading toward Moosehead Lake. Good for you. I visit Greenville as often as possible.

 It’s one of the few places where you have a good chance of seeing a moose and a great chance of getting a good meal.

 Some of our roads are under construction. Please be patient and deal with it. We’ve had two consecutive rough winters and it takes time to patch things up. Otherwise, we’ll have potholes big enough to swallow a Volkswagen.

 You won’t find any branded motels or franchise restaurants north of Dover-Foxcroft — we have a McDonald’s in town — so put away your Applebee’s and Ruby Tuesday gift cards until you get back to Bangor.

 I‘ve dined in every restaurant between Dexter and Greenville plus a few places in Dover Foxcroft and Milo at least once. And my waistline shows it.

 If you’re an angler, you’ll love Maine. Just make sure you get a license first. Our game wardens earn their keep and take violations very seriously.

 Also, get a guide book from the local town office or Chamber of Commerce. Some of our laws are kind of quirky. What may be legal to catch in one part of a river may be limited to catch-and-release five miles downstream.

 Cell phone reception may be tricky. But you’re on vacation, right? Save the battery life.

 Overall, Maine is a great place to go on vacation. In fact, I liked Maine so much that I came up here from New York on vacation in 1972 and never went back.

 I even married a native in 1980. But I still never learned how to say “ayuh.”

 Mike Lange is a staff writer with the Piscataquis Observer. His opinions are his own and don’t necessarily reflect those of this newspaper.