Safe Havens provides a place for safe supervised visits and exchanges of children

    DOVER-FOXCROFT — Families impacted by domestic violence and other issues now have a place in which non-custodial parents can visit with their children in a safe, supervised environment and parents can safely transfer custody of their children. Located in the Penquis building at 50 North Street, the Piscataquis Safe Havens Center offers these services at no cost in carrying out its mission statement of promoting safety for victims of domestic violence through supervised visitation and the safe exchange of children; to support the relationship of children and their parents in a respectful and responsive environment; and to participate in community collaborations to end domestic violence.

    A SAFE PLACE — Non-custodial parents involved in incidents of domestic violence now have a safe, supervised location to visit with their children at the Piscataquis Safe Havens Center at Penquis’ Dover-Foxcroft office. Safe Havens can also serve as a safe location for the transfer of children from one parent to another.

    “We have been working on this wonderful visitation center for so long and we want to let people know about it,” said Womancare Executive Director Cindy Freeman Cyr. 

    “It officially opened on Dec. 3,” said Safe Havens Center Director Parvannah Withee.

    Freeman Cyr said work on creating a visitation center for parents and children began around 2008 when she and Tamar Mathieu of Penquis had conversations on the grant funding possibilities for such a location “for families of domestic violence” in which many of the instances the violence was between the adults. She said the Piscataquis County Commissioners supported the grant application as a government entity that was needed to seek the funding, but the application ended up not being approved for grant monies.

    Funding from the U.S. Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women was applied for again, with the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) as the government agency, and the second time it was awarded. Money for Safe Havens has also come from the Maine Community Foundation.

    “We got the grant which is now going into its third year,” Freeman Cyr said, mentioning that years of planning was needed before Safe Havens could open. “We really could see a need for this with the frequency of abuse incidents between parents.”

    She explained that before the center — which is the only location of its kind in Maine — any other locations were often far from ideal. She said non-custodial parents’ visits may have not been as safe in the home of another relative, who likely did not have any training in dealing with incidents involving serious domestic violence such as assault or stalking, and having the children transferred directly from one parent to another in a setting such as parking lot has led to some incidents between the adults with the children again being put in potentially dangerous situations.

    “Our goal is to not have parents come in contact with each other and prevent violence,” Withee said.

    Freeman Cyr said most of those who have or will utilize Safe Havens come from the referral of a court and/or a judge, but parents can also choose to self refer if they need to use the center services. She said Safe Havens is a partnership between Penquis, Womancare, DHHS and Judge Kevin Stitham, and the center has a consulting committee with law enforcement, legal and mental health providers represented. She said everyone involved “has been working a long time to make it a reality.”

    Withee said parents referred to Safe Havens, or those wanting more information on possibly using center services, will call her to schedule an orientation. After some discussions, times will be scheduled for visitations which are supervised. “We have visitation monitors to promote safety and keep victims of domestic violence safe,” she said.

    Safety is further emphasized with separate, keypad entrances and exits at Safe Havens. Withee said parents “never arrive at the same time and they never leave at the same time.” She said staff, who are all trained such as through Womancare’s domestic abuse advocate program, work to build relationships with the families so parents and children can have “safe, fun, relaxing, non-stressful visits.”

    Freeman Cyr said that incidents involving domestic violence may have altered the dynamic between children’s mothers and fathers but, “They are going to be parents together forever. The hope is each parent can figure out a good role for themselves” in order to have a healthy relationship with their children.

    Withee said Save Havens “helps with accountability, it really stops the ‘he said, she said’” through the documentation and emphasis on promoting safety for everyone.

    “We are part of a network of other Safe Havens Centers,” Freeman Cyr said. “We have been to multiple trainings with people from across the country. I think we are fortunate to have great investment and involvement from local law enforcement and with our partners.”

    “It is really intended for the safety of victims,” Freeman Cyr said, as Safe Havens staff is trained to be prepared for the worse-case scenarios.

    “Our hope is we build relationships with our parents,” Withee added. “It has gone about as good as it can go so far,” with several families already using Safe Havens. She said some non-custodial parents were a bit concerned beforehand about “visiting in just a little office space, but once they saw it they liked it. We want them to feel comfortable and have a good visit.”

    Safe Havens, located in a space that formerly was a family center, is comprised of an orientation room and a conference room, with areas — none of which can be locked — for parents and children to play together as well as a kitchen space. “There’s a lot to do in there for different ages,” Withee said. “We really designed it so kids of all ages would have something to do. We hope as they come they will make it their own.”

    Safe Havens includes toys in a playroom, comfortable furniture, tables and bookshelves made at the Mountain View Youth Development Center in Charleston to all help make the center inviting for children and parents.

    Those at Safe Havens will have their visits monitored. Sara Lopez, one of the visitation monitors, explained that she may sit right in or be standing nearby as parents and children interact. “It depends on what they are doing,” Lopez said as visitation monitors will always “be able to see and hear what they are doing.”

    “If a parent gets stuck we can offer ideas,” Lopez said about the toys and games that can be played with for fun activities.

    Freeman Cyr said the monitors are trained to make sure parents are interacting with their children in healthy manners, as opposed to trying to gather information such as what the other parent is doing. She said the location at Penquis is a great fit because the agency “is a hub of other services” in which parents can find resources on classes, food and fuel assistance and more to help them and their children.

    For more information on the Piscataquis Safe Havens Center, please contact Withee at 974-2475, 1-800-215-4942 or pwithee@penquis.org.