Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance says ‘it’s time to talk’ about teen dating violence

DOVER-FOXCROFT — Following the observance of Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month in February, the Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance — a community-based organization working to end domestic violence in Piscataquis and Penobscot counties — is working to keep the conversation going. A “It’s Time to Talk” session on the evening of March 2 at the agency’s 8 Mechanic Street office gave attendees some resources for helping teenagers, parents and others discuss the issue.
“We can never have too much time to talk about teen dating violence and awareness,” said Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance Prevention Education Angie Alfonso. Alfonso said during February the Alliance gave presentations at area schools and worked with the institutions on policies, such as how to handle protection orders between students.
“What we are aware of is how important it is is to educate the adults in the community,” she said. “We meet young people where they are. We also have volunteer opportunities for teens.”
Alfonso said her organization is seeing an increase in high school students donating their time through childcare, distributing literature, promoting the Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance via technology and social media and serving as counselors at the summer Harmony Camps. “The 6- to 9-year-olds love hanging out with them,” Alfonso said about the camp counselors.
The Alliance’s Knowledge is Power Library Campaign puts donated books pertaining to teen dating violence awareness in school and public libraries. “It can be a great way for young people to talk about the issue, they can take the book home, digest it and then talk about the book,” Alfonso said.
Alliance Prevention and Awareness Educator Adriana Hopkins said teen dating abuse is when two young people enter a relationship and one person believes they have the right to have power and control over the other by making choices to exert their power and control using many different tactics.
“We talk about the same four categories of abuse (as for domestic violence),” Hopkins said, listing mental and emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse and verbal abuse.
“It’s important to acknowledge violence can happen in any relationship, we have to acknowledge it’s not only in male/female relationships,” Alfonso said. “We work with anyone, any age, any orientation, any gender.” She said the Alliance will see many clients “who are scared or worried or confused,” and not just those displaying signs of physical abuse.
Hopkins said the top three sources for teens to learn about relationships are, in order, “their peers, popular culture and their parents/guardians.” She then the first two sources are far from ideal, due to the inexperience of fellow teens and the potential for bad impressions popular culture can make.
Alfonso said national statistics indicate one in three teenagers is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner — a far greater figure than for other types of youth violence — or about 1.5 million per year. “Here in the state of Maine that statistic is one in five,” she said.
Other data says 82 percent of parents feel confident they could recognize the signs if their child was experiencing dating abuse, but 58 percent of parents could not correctly identify all the warning signs of abuse. Alfonso said another piece of information reporting one in four teens in a relationship say they have been called names, harassed or put down by their partner through cellphones and texting may now be too low.
“Using technology to be abusive is unfortunately too easy,” Hopkins said. “There’s a very big difference between checking in and checking up.”
She she safety planning for teenagers is much different than for adults, so needs to be considered include transportation, finances, education, work, legal options and more.
“We want to celebrate the fact that there will be young people who don’t know what teen dating violence is,” Alfonso said. “But I can tell you teen dating violence absolutely is an issue in our region.”
She said those experiencing teen dating violence are encouraged to discuss their situation with a trusted adult, and these individuals can turn to the Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance for resources and support. The Alliance can be reached at 564-8166 or www.sprucerun.net and the agency’s 24-hour hotline is 1-800-863-9909.
“We are planning more specific trainings with more specific topics,” Hopkins said at the conclusion of the “It’s Time to Talk” session.

A teen dating violence awareness ribbon