Emily Cain, red flannel sweat, and the Dukakis helmet

THE MAINE CONSERVATIVE VOICE
By Andy Torbett

Those moments that define who we are. What we do means more than what we say. And you can’t pull that crap and get away with it in the 2nd District, Emily Cain.

Maybe it’s because Emily Cain has just returned from a wine tasting tour with Nancy Pelosi on the left coast of California to garner more campaign contributions from the Hollywood elites that has caused her to be unaware that it is blistering hot here in Maine in August. It must be the reason, because why else would someone decide to go out for a photo-op shooting lesson dressed in a thick red plaid flannel shirt, still sporting the fresh-outta-the-wrapper creases, layered under another spanking shiny new, did I mention thick, blaze orange hunting vest under the hot, yes very hot, August sun. If you noticed the awkward position of the “instructor” standing next to her, it’s probably because he’s trying to avoid stepping in the pool of sweat rippling around Ms. Cain’s most likely insulated L.L. Bean hunting boots, store tags in tow, gathering from the rivulets of perspiration coursing down her hypocritical person.

Obviously Ms. Cain is desperate to prove to the common sense voters of the 2nd District in Maine that she is one of them. Unfortunately for her, most Mainers know that no one in their right mind would go out on a sweltering hot August day to target shoot dressed to the flannel hilt for a bird hunt in October. There is humor here to be had for sure were it not for the condescending insult to the voters of CD 2.

No picture in a sweat drenched hunting outfit is going to convince voters of her love for guns when Emily Cain’s voting record screams otherwise. Furthermore her sudden stalwart defense of the “right to hunt” exposes her complete and indefensible disregard for the reasons for the 2nd Amendment. The first and foremost being a defense against a government that has lost an understanding and respect for the purpose of the Constitution and, therefore, has become a danger to the citizens. Hunting is way down the list.

While Ms. Cain should be reminded hunters wear multiple layers during hunting months of October and November because it’s cold, not in August to create a portable sauna, She should also be reminded that the Maine State Constitution takes the 2nd Amendment one step further by demanding that the Right to Keep and Bear Arms shall not be questioned. Once Ms. Cain has peeled off her soggy flannel propaganda attire, she’ll need to explain to the Maine residents why she has questioned that fundamental right on numerous occasions.

I suppose we should thank Emily Cain for interjecting some much needed comic relief into a election cycle that has been rife with despair. One cannot look at the heat shimmers emanating from the multi-layers of flannel campaign photog draped over Ms. Cain’s shoulders and not have it invoke images of Michael Dukakis … and an Army helmet he should never have put on.

Andy Torbett of Atkinson writes a regular column entitled The Maine Conservative Voice. He can reached at meconservativevoice@gmail.com.